


Shipping Charts

by dandelionprince



Category: Homestuck
Genre: during sgrub on the meteor before everything went to heck, i'll add characters and relationships to the tags when they show up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-22
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-04-27 15:45:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5054539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dandelionprince/pseuds/dandelionprince
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nepeta is going through a rough patch. She's hid her feelings away all these years, and she believes she may have lost a friend in the process. Meanwhile, something doesn't feel too right on the meteor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Regret

Your name is Nepeta Leijon, and you've just made the biggest mistake of your life.

You've never really done well with romantic flurries. Granted, you've had very few of them, but exactly zero percent of them went well. You suppose that's not really anybody's fault but your own, though you can still go on to pretend the predicament is blameless, as you tend to do. Yes, you often peg yourself as The Romance Expert™, you'll admit that. But that all has to do with other people! Their situations are so simple to you. In fact, you have walls upon walls dedicated to sorting out all of your friends’ relationships, large or small. But when it comes to yourself? Your interactions are an enigma. You can't observe them from a distance, or draw out a neat little chart to make things orderly. They're all messed up and confusing, and you've never been that good at puzzles of that caliber, when you get right to it.

You're good at some things, sure. Like taking down beasts three times your size for your next meal, or patching up your tattered olive coat for the trillionth time. But when, let's say, the troll you've harbored a flush-crush on since your fourth sweep confronts you about your poor stealth in the aforementioned matter?

That's when things get really out of your paws.

You've always known you two would never work out. Why else would you keep it on the downlow all these sweeps? (In which case, exactly one.) You wouldn't peg yourself as the sharpest tool in the shed, but you have some common sense, never mind some common decency. You've never really wanted to bring your feelings up with him. Besides how embarrassed you were about it, you didn't want to drag the poor fellow through whatever pain would come with having to reject you. You aren't saying coming to terms with how much he doesn't love you (ouch) is a bad thing, but you know how gross you must feel once you find out someone who you've trusted for nearly a sweep mostly hung out with you because they were in love with you. I mean, that's how he must feel, right? You couldn't really tell. He was so awkward when he talked to you about it. You have a sneaking suspicion he's just as mortified about the whole ordeal as you are.

This is what you're thinking as you lay on a bundle of pelts in silence, nervously gnawing on the fabric of your hat. It's an awful habit of yours, you've had it since you were a wriggler. But you'll admit it offers some level of comfort, and you'll take whatever you can get. 

You feel so dumb. You absolutely could have kept your feelings hidden better. But you were clumsy, perhaps you left a few drawings about, and now you're going to have to live with the repercussions of what you've done. It's a burden you're willing to bear as long as you never have to talk about it again. And you hope to god you’ll never have to talk about it again. Karkat is a bit of a loudmouth, but you don’t reckon he’d go rambling onto just anyone about what happened between you two. You suppose you’d be alright with him recounting it to a moirail; heck, you were thinking about doing that yourself, once the dust settles. Talking about things with your moirail is an entirely different matter! But you aren’t entirely sure he even has somebody in that quadrant.

Your cellular device buzzes against the fur of your makeshift nest, and you can feel its vibrations pestering you to check its screen. But didn't it ever stop to consider how positively, absolutely sad you are? There is no time for friends, no time for socialization. You're just gonna lay here, wallowing in your own self pity. You have no lioness pride today. Just undoubtable, unperishable misery.

You suppose that’s being a bit dramatic. But when it really does come down to it, your feathers are still a bit ruffled about what happened, and you don’t want that to reflect onto any of your conversations, be they ones where you engage in friendly roleplaying or otherwise. So you scoop up your phone for just a second, before placing it gently on the floor beside your pelts. You unclench your jaw and let your electric blue hat fall down onto your lap with a yawn.

You have a feeling it’s gonna be a long day.


	2. Horrorterrors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhh whoops i. kinda totally forgot about this! but here i am regardless.  
> i've changed the perspective from this point forth because i thought the introductory chapter would benefit from the traditional homestuck style second person, so here's hoping that's not too confusing.  
> cheers!

She tipped back into consciousness with a jolt, shimmering sweat beading down her neck and back as she sat upright with surprising urgency. She hadn’t even realized she’d dozed off within the first few seconds of heavy breath and speedy glances at her surroundings, but in the next few moments it became all too apparent. The poor troll’s bloodpusher seemed one hard pound away from bursting from her chest, her vision becoming blurred and obscured with every beat, like some strange nausea tango. Clammy hands shakily touched her cheeks to ground her. It was unbelievably recognizable, there was no doubt in her mind-- she’d just had a run-in with the horrorterrors.

 

The Leijon cursed herself under her progressively steadying breath; after all, what a dumbo she’d been! Just because she’d been dipping into new emotional lows in her post-pupa life didn’t mean she could just go around falling asleep like that. One of her cold, sweaty, gloved hands lifted up from her cheek and gently pat her face in some faux slap as she thought this.

 

Surely it’d been the “chameowmewl” tea she’d drank earlier, that stuff’d make any troll turn the snooze bar up to its max capacity. It was a total misstep on her part, and she should have been responsible enough to have anticipated that! The deep breaths she took now seemed to be calming her frustration more than her panic at this point, so once more she snatched her hat up from its current resting place (it seemed to have slipped into the pelts, it took a little bit of nervous digging to find actually) and dug her teeth into the fabric. Calm swept over her almost immediately, her tense muscles relaxing themselves at the soothing sensation.

 

Nepeta had been a fantastic fan of catnaps back on Alternia, and even for some time on the meteor, but her mood about them changed… drastically and understandably once her dream self bit the dust, so to say. Without getting too into it she could recount with absolutely certainty it wasn’t an experience she’d wish upon her worst enemy, nevermind her bestest of friends that had had to go through the same thing. Perhaps she’d be able to tolerate the nightmarish creatures that awaited her within even the briefest of snoozes if only she hadn’t had such an awful experience with napping beforehand-- after all she preyed upon terrifying creatures all the time back on her home planet-- but seeing as she couldn’t change what had happened, that alternate reality wasn’t fit to be dwelled upon.

 

The cellular device she’d let slip from her thinkpan for all too long buzzed against the smooth grey lab tile, startling the troll just enough for her to release her blue cap from her jaws. Its familiar placement whom her eyes darted to reminded her of what worries she’d fallen asleep to almost instantly, and adrenaline welled up in her yet again in result. Karkat Karkat Karkat, how could she have forgotten about Karkat??? And at such a time! He’d be furious if he found out one of his teammates had succumb to sleep, she was just sure of it, the fact that he had forbid it considered. Nepeta developed such a need to know how long she’d been out she scooped her telegrub into her hands right away and frantically clicked the home button, letting her emotions consume her all over again. Her eyes desperately tried to focus on the numbers in front of her; one, five, seven-- no no, it’s a one, of course it’s not a seven-- and last but not least, zero. One five one zero.  
15:10. She’d been asleep for two hours.  
A soft, mortified hiss escaped her lips as she continued to gaze at this numerical death sentence. God forbid she give her pal another reason to hate her, right? What an inconsiderate fool she was running around being, putting romantic pressure on him and now this! She knew for a fact he’d been keeping himself awake for at least a week since Prospit had met its unfortunate end, give or take a few days, and there was no doubt the Vantas was just as tired as he looked in times like these. Derse had been destroyed a little more recently than its opposing planet had so she’d certainly been getting more rest than him within the past fortnight. The awful knot inside her gut loosened up a bit at the thought that at least he’d never have to know she’d slipped into a two hour snooze marathon.

 

Just as the glow of the screen she held started to dim and drift into a sleep itself, it lit back up again and buzzed with another notification. Oh right, she’d been getting those. Her thumb swished as she perused with an odd sense of dread through the long list of messages she’d apparently received on the lock screen, seemingly all from… oh! She breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of “cuttlefishCuller”, for it was the best news she’d heard all day. In fact, this was probably the most excited she’d ever been to be getting a message from Feferi; not to say she wasn’t often excited to be getting messages from her, because she actually liked the seadweller quite a bit, but it calmed her nerves more than ever to be seeing her handle. So with that, the Leijon unlocked her alchemized device as swiftly as she could to get a grasp on all this hubbub going on in Trollian.

 

cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]

 

CC: N-EP-ETA )(I!  
CC: Nepeta?  
CC: U)()()(.  
CC: S)(ello?  
CC: WAIT WAIT WAIT!  
CC: T)(e )(orrorterrors totally just glubbed a bubble for you didnt t)(ey??? 38)  
CC: I KN-EW youd come around, t)(ey really arent so bad after all )(u)(!  
CC: All t)(e dummies on our team are always making t)(ese )(uge villains out of t)(em its kind of sad actually w)(en you t)(ink about )(ow muc)( t)(ey )(ave to say.  
CC: But noooo t)(eyre all really -EVIL or somet)(ing!  
CC: I t)(ink if everybody just gave t)(em a c)(ance maybe t)(ey wouldnt be so afraid?  
CC: Glub glub glub glub S)(RUG.  
CC: Anyways message me w)(en you wake up!  
CC: BY-------------E!

 

cuttlefishCuller [CC] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]

 

Oh jeez, of course Feferi knew, she’s got a shared mind with those horrorterrors or something! But at least she could trust her to not go around blabbing off to anybody, probably.

 

It’s not as if any of Nepeta’s friends would care in the slightest that’d she’d been napping, she was mostly just concerned about the news spreading to their “leader”, for the most part. Any rational troll wouldn’t give a rats’ ass about this, and maybe she wouldn’t have as much just a day earlier, but again, she didn’t want him to be more disgruntled with her than he already was. It was a sticky situation to say the least.

 

Just as she was about to type a wakeful response to her fishy friend, something stuck out to her, enough to make her hands seize up, and she paused. Something out of the corner of her eye.

 

Who had just left the room?


	3. Mystery

She dropped the phone with a soft thud and ducked low to the ground almost by instinct, her gaze flicking and flitting around the room for some sort of clue as to what dark figure had just dipped through the doorway. Certainly, it wouldn’t have been as unsettling if she’d seen somebody step into the room, or perhaps even just that somebody had been in the room for a short while and then spoke up about it, but the fact that someone (or something?) had been in the room this entire time, silent and unnoticed all the while, and decided they had gotten all they needed to out of the experience and then left, silent and mostly unnoticed still, that really chilled her to the bone. Because, to be honest, most of her friends were as loud and noticeable as they come.

 

The huntress’s round button nose twitched and sniffed the air as she prowled across the cold, sleek tile flooring towards the exit, her eyebrows furrowing in both thought and tenseness. When it came down to it there were eleven possibilities for the culprit; with that notion her mind kicked into full inspector mode.

 

First off there’s Terezi, Karkat, Kanaya, and Vriska, who really wouldn’t be interested in creeping around since they were so engrossed in chatting it up with those cool alien kids. Nepeta would probably be talking to them herself if she wasn’t so absolutely busy with what she was doing at the very moment, so that’s understandable, and made them entirely ruled out!

 

Then there’s Tavros, who was super busy romping around with his new robot legs (she’d assume), so he was ruled out. Gamzee who’s probably off trying to bargain that horn pile to everybody else, Feferi and Sollux who most likely bought into the horn pile, so they were ruled out too. Eridan… maybe. She’d admit, that rando no-doubt-about-it absolutely-tootly gave her the CR33PS, just in general! But even so she didn’t think he’d be one to be stalking her like that, nevermind be able to keep his trap shut long enough to even do so. Sooo… ruled out.

 

Next there was definitely the possibility of it being Aradia-- or, uh, Aradiabot! After all, she’d been considerably different-acting ever since the, y’know, whole bot thing, so that might very well be the case. At least, she pondered, if it was in fact Aradia watching her, she would know that it wasn’t malicious by any means, so that offered some reassurance. Which left, last but not least, Equius!

 

While he was certainly the sorta troll to be camping out in the shadows at any given time or place, that didn’t necessarily peg him as the definite suspect on its lonesome. The Leijon couldn’t think of any reason he would even be watching her out of all people, unless he thought she was doing something suspicious, which she wasn’t. To the best of her knowledge at least? She’d have to bring that up to him later, moirail to moirail.

 

Nepeta peered out the door frame and into the hall, unfortunately still not any closer to solving this mystery than when she had first set off in pursuit. The tiled hallway seemed eerily empty, so much more chilling and barren within the circumstances-- there was not a soul to be found, much to her dismay, and no sound reached her ears but the faint buzzing of ancient computers not too far off trying to support the trolls using them. It was concerning, to say the least. The meteor to which they had staked their claim in the recent past was entirely empty of life besides her eleven friends that had accompanied her during the game, so if she couldn’t lay the blame to any of the aforementioned trolls, what could she possibly lay the blame to?

 

Perhaps it had just been her mind playing tricks on her, a little post-horrorterror delusion. It would be the simplest answer, after all. But something about the way her heart thumped and the way the air around her smelt stale, something about the way the instincts of a hunter whined to convince her otherwise, meant that surely something was not quite right.

 

Lowering her body gently to the ground from her hands and knees and indulging in a small sigh, she turned her head back to the room she’d come from for a moment. Little pastel teapots adorned with adorable little black kitties littered the shiny grey tile, beautiful murals of her finest of ships lit up the walls, and her nest of pelts gazed back at her still just as inviting as they always were. But even so, something seemed different now that such a mystery was afoot, something she couldn’t place her paw on. She’d been thinking of relocating her little hangout block anyways, to somewhere a little closer to where Equius and her would have their feelings jams-- with all the broken robots and bows and such! So maybe a change of scenery might do her some good after so much emotional distraught especially. Besides, new walls meant new canvas space, and she’d never pass up an opportunity to revise her shipping charts.

 

So with that she hoisted herself up and brushed herself off, a new source of pep in her step at the promise of change. She walked across the block this way that, captchalogging every possession she thought worthwhile to captchalogue-- her teapots, her paint set, a few balls of yarn. That mountainous pile of sugar obviously; even looking at such a pile made her sleepy and emotional, but with such ludicrous amounts of sugar no one could ever accuse her of not being prepared to sweeten a warm beverage, so it all balanced out. And last but not least… the pelts.

 

She wasn’t exactly prepared to scoop those into her inventory just yet. Sure, they had been wonderful and comfy and purrfect for catnaps back when her dream self was still alive, but they seemed sort of out of a purpose now. There’s no point in getting all cozy and sleepy if you aren’t planning on falling asleep after all! So in an act of finality she scooped her hat off of the furs and donned it once more, before turning on her heel and making her leave.

 

It was sort of symbolic in a way, Nepeta thought to herself as she stepped down the hallway. She had a whole collection of pelts back in her hivecave on Alternia, skinned from a whole array of different beasts and wild animals she’d had for a meal with her lusus. It was a very familiar sight, if that said something. So maybe this would help her cope with the destruction of her homeworld all the more, to no longer have that in her life, as bittersweet as it was. Though even if it didn’t, it certainly would assist her to stop heckin’ snoozing the day away!

 

As the catgirl made her way further and further from the room she’d departed, something now distant and metal clattered to the floor, a sound she would no longer bother to hear in the midst of the reverie she was enraptured in.

 

The grate of a vent had been hanging open.


End file.
